I Will Not Stop
by Lady Labcoat
Summary: Buffy reflects on how to keep her friends safe after sending Angel to Hell. Set at the end of Season 2. Very slight B/G.


He was gone. Just... gone. And Buffy had no one to blame but herself. It was her fault they had ended up where they had. She had slept with him. She had turned him. She had failed to kill him multiple times. But not this time. This time she had rammed him through with the sword and watched him fade into the void. But this time, she murdered him. He was healed, restored. His soul had come back and he was her Angel once more.

Only he had not been her Angel for a while. He had been Angelus and a murderer. He murdered classmates, friends, innocent people. And all just because he thought it was fun. She had kissed him. She had cried. She had stabbed him. She had sent him to Hell. She had released them all from his torturous grasp.

Torture. God, she didn't even know if Giles was alive. She had seen him briefly but needed to get to Angel before they all ended up in the hospital. Everyone she loved was put at risk and it was because of her. Because of her calling and her need for a normal life. There was a reason a Slayer was supposed to be isolated from others, to be kept secret. They can't go after the ones you love if you have no one. Except Giles. Her Watcher would still be with her, putting himself in harm's way to protect her. This was why she knew she had to do what she was about to do.

 _It's not like I have a home to go back to anyway_ , she mused.

She walked into the main hospital entrance and to the information desk. An old man, probably in his 70s with thick glasses, smiled at her and asked if he could help her. She asked first for Willow's room number. After checking the names, he gave her the info with a smile. Buffy hesitated momentarily before asking for Giles' room. It took the man a while to find it. Buffy had started to think the worst. That maybe Giles had not made it to the hospital. But then the desk attendant smiled up at her brightly and said that he was actually on the same floor as Willow, only down the hall. She thanked him and headed for the elevators.

She first went to Willow's room. Her best friend was curled up sleeping. Surprisingly, no one else was there. She looked around the room to double check but, no. She was alone. There was a chair pulled right up next to the bed. Most likely Oz's. Buffy sat down. She nervously fidgeted with her hands. "Hey, Will," She whispered. "You did good. Real good. You got Angel his-", her voice cracked. "You gave him his soul back." Buffy could feel the tears building up again. She closed her eyes. "It was just too late. He had done too much damage as Angelus. It was the only way to make sure you guys were all safe." She brushed a piece of hair back behind Willow's ear to better see her face. She smiled. "I need to keep you safe," she continued to whisper. "You, Oz, Xander... Gi-", he voice cracked again as a tiny sob escaped her. "Giles." She touched her best friend's forearm. She briefly stirred but did not wake. "I love you. I hope you can some day forgive me." She stood and leaned over Willow, pressing a peck into her hair.

She turned and froze. Oz was standing just outside the doorway with his hands in his pockets. He waited until she noticed him to enter the room. "Hey," he greeted.

"Hey."

"It's done?"

"It's done." He nodded his head. He walked by Buffy and sat down in the seat Buffy had just been occupying. She stood around in the silent room as Oz took Willow's hand and placed a small kiss on her knuckles. "Bye, Oz." She began to leave the room.

"Buffy?" he said quietly, as to not disturb his girlfriend. She faced him. "Be careful." She nodded then walked out.

She leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath to calm herself. She closed her eyes. It was turning out to be one hell of a day. No pun intended. She straightened back up with a huff. Checking the room numbers, she steeled herself for her next destination.

She peeked into his room and saw he was sitting up in bed. She hesitated, but gently knocked on the door jamb. His head turned towards her and he looked surprised. He tried to sit up more, but winced in pain. She entered and walked up to his bedside. "Shouldn't you be resting?" she asked him.

He opened his mouth but then looked away. Buffy pulled up a chair and sat down. "I tried. But every time I drift off..." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Buffy," he mumbled.

"Sorry?" she asked, confused. "Sorry for what?"

"I told him. I.. I..." he took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to," he whispered.

"Giles, I don't blame you. I could never blame you." She reached out and to take his hand, but, for the first time noticed it was bandaged up. She gasped. Giles tried to hide it under the blankets, but Buffy stood and softly touched his arm. She gently picked up his wrist and lifted his hand. Her eyes watered as she took in the state of his fingers. His left hand. His writing hand. She wondered if he would still have his beautiful penmanship. She sat on the edge of the bed and put his arm across her lap. He looked at her quizzically. "He's gone. He can't hurt you anymore."

"Oh, Buffy. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?"

Buffy couldn't help but chuckle sadly. "You're in a hospital bed, recovering from torture, and you are worried about me."

"I will always worry about you, Buffy."

"I know," she whimpered. "You are a great Watcher. Better than great. The best. You research at all hours of the day and night, you let me beat you up-",

"I don't _let_ you beat me up," he clarified.

"You're always there for me. Offering your support and respect." She looked down at his damaged hand in her lap. "Even if I don't deserve it." She gently stroked his hand and up his forearm.

Something was wrong with his Slayer but he couldn't figure out what it was. She was acting strange. While he knew she was a deeply caring person, she rarely showed that in a physical form. "Buffy?"

"I love you, you know," she stated as if it was obvious, still looking down. Giles was stunned into silence. "I know I have never actually said the words to you before. I probably haven't showed it either. You do nothing but try to keep me alive and what do you get in return? Tortured."

Giles lifted his other hand and touched her back between her shoulder blades. She brought her attention back to him. Concern was etched across his face. "Buffy, what's wrong?"

"You mean besides two of my best friends being in the hospital and sending my ex to Hell?"

He shook his head. "There's something else. Tell me."

"Willow performed the restoration spell. He was... re-souled."

"Dear lord." He soothingly rubbed her back. "But you still... Why?"

"The portal had already opened. And he had hurt too many people. I put you all at risk and people paid for that with their lives. I couldn't take that risk again." She sighed. "I _can't_ take that risk again."

"Buffy. I'm your Watcher. It is my duty to be by your side. To help you defeat the monsters of this world. You did not hold a gun to my head and force me into this. I knew what I was in store for when I came here. I knew... I knew how it would end for me."

"Not if I can help it."

Giles chuckled. "Some things are out of your hands."

Buffy looked him directly in the eye. "Some things aren't." Buffy removed his arm from her lap and stood, gently placing it back on the bed. She looked down at him with a sad smile. She ran the back of her fingers across his cheek. His brow furrowed. She cupped his face. Leaning in she gently brushed her lips across his. He started at the contact, but didn't move back. She pressed a light kiss to his lips which he returned. It only lasted a moment before she pulled away.

He looked at her with sad eyes. "Don't," he quietly pleaded, holding her hand with his uninjured one. He knew the look in her eyes. He was upset he didn't notice it before. He had once seen it in his own eyes.

"I gotta go home." She started to back away but he held on. It wasn't a lie. She did have to go back to the house and pack some things before leaving. At least some clothes. And a toothbrush.

"Buffy..."

She kissed his knuckles and gently lowered his hand, releasing herself from his grip. "Rest, Giles. You need your rest. He's gone. You're safe." She smiled sweetly at him and turned for the door before he could see the tears in her eyes.

Just before she disappeared out the door he called out, "I am going to do for you what my father never did for me." Buffy stopped but didn't turn around. "I will _never_ stop looking for you."

A tear escaped down her cheek and she wiped it away before speaking over her shoulder. "I'm counting on it."


End file.
